


absolutely shrexy

by Rajin



Category: Shrek (Movies)
Genre: M/M, NONE OF THIS IS EVEN POSSIBLE, This is wrong, WTF, he fucks himself, im bored, im slow okay, selfcest, shrek is horny so what does he do?, very very wrong, wrote this in like 40 minutes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 02:36:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9362372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rajin/pseuds/Rajin
Summary: i'm bored.





	

**Author's Note:**

> gUESS WHOS BACK BITCHES

STRKEJRNDJDJS

Shrek groaned as he thrust two of his mighty ogre fingers into his moist, dirty asshole, causing the bed to wobble slightly at the rapid movements transpiring atop it.

Now, you may ask yourself, 'How did Shrek find himself in such a peculiar situation?' Well, it all started with Shrek's first girlfriend...

"Oh babe... You're so sexy like that..." Shrek spoke in a low, husky voice, enough to make any girl's panties soaked. Shrek stared at the sight in front of him. His beautiful girlfriend, Angie, was sprawled out on top of his large bed, completely naked and returning the lusty gaze Shrek was shooting her.

"Oh Shrek... I need your thick cock right inside of me right now!!" Angie whined, wriggling on the bed. Shrek only responded with a chuckle, and slid off his pants to reveal his 24 inch SCHLONG DONGADOODLE.

Angie gasped at the sight of the huge throbbing schlong dongadoodle. She cringed slightly as a small amount of precum leaked out of the head, and dropped onto the floor with a splat. "S-Shrek baby, are you sure that... that thing will fit inside of me?" Angie spoke, her lip slightly quivering at the thought of his huge dongadoodle ripping her pussy open.

"It's fine babe! Now open up for ye daddy!" Angie reluctantly spread her legs wider, exposing her genitals some more to the horny ogre. "Oh yeah babe..." Shrek breathed out as he steadied the head of his long schlong at the entrance of Angie's vagina.

And when he had plunged in, Angie screamed. Not out. Of pleasure. Out of pure pain. Because when Shrek pulled out, red liquid covered his dick, and was oozing out of Angie.

"Babe! What is this?! Don't tell me you're on your...!" Shrek growled and he pulled his dick out of Angie, who had tears running down the side of her cheeks.

"Shrek... Y-You ripped me open!"

And that was the end of that.

So Shrek had set out on a quest to find more durable women. Women who could handle his mighty ogre schlong dongadoodle. But alas, none could handle the power and intensity of the dong. Every time Shrek engaged in sexual intercourse with a tiny bit of hope whoever was on the bottom would not split open. But they did, and Shrek was forced to look at the sickening bloody mess which was all of his fault.

So Shrek thought long and hard (like his D). What mighty creature could handle his dingle dong? Shrek sighed. No matter how long and hard he thought, he couldn't find a suitable mate that was up for a good fuck. All of the ogres around who could handle him had boyfriends. Shrek growled in annoyance.

And then the thought of cloning himself came along. He was so desperate by now, that he'd fuck himself. 'But how..? Unless...' Shrek sighed. It was worth a shot.

So here he was now, on all fours, preparing himself with his lubed-up fingers, and torturing his poor bed while he was at it. "Damn..." Shrek groaned, and stretched out his anus as wide as possible.

And he slipped in 3 fingers with some difficulty, but atleast he accomplished the feat. The sound of wet, lewd, and sloppy sounds constantly rang in his his ears, resulting in his schlong dongadoodle to only get harder. 

And after a few minutes of vigorous thrusting, Shrek decided he was ready. Ready to fuck .. himself.

It may sound weird, but Shrek had decided it was he who was destined to withstand is mighty ogre schlong. It was he would fuck, but also get fucked. 

And so Shrek grabbed his schlong dongadoodle, and bent it back more than it should really go, and caused Shrek to hiss from the pain. He kept up bending all of his schlong backwards, and when all of it was finally backwards, he started to bring to head to his entrance. His dongadoodle felt like it burst, the pain was unbearable.

But Shrek was desperate. So he kept bending his dick in order to fufuill his lustful needs, and a twinge of relief surged through him and he felt the head of his wang brush against his entrance. 

And he shoved it inside.

Shrek groaned, the unusual feeling of his own genitals inside of him slightly sickened him, but he kept shoving all of himself inside. Shrek breathed rapidly, and pressed forward. "Goodness... how could anyone possibly derive pleasure from this horrible experience?" Shrek breathed out, in response to the uncomfortable feeling his asshole being filled.

And then he hit a spot deep inside of him. Something that made Shrek take back what he had stated previously. Shrek moaned out in pleasure as his schlong dongadoodle rubbed up against his prostate.

Shrek pulled his schlong dongadoodle out slowly, and then thrust it back in, aiming for the spot that had caused him intense pleasure.

Pain was forgotten, and only pleasure was felt as Shrek used his schlong dongadoodle like a dildo, thrusting it in and out, the only difference is that what he was using to pleasure himself, was attached to himself.

"Oh god... I feel like I'm gonna come...!" Shrek moaned out as he quickly took note of the warm feeling forming deep within his stomach. He moaned as he thrust his dong more aggressively inside of him, and abused his prostate. He grunted and he felt the warm feeling slowly becoming more huge, and he gave one last thrust. And after that, he came. Hard.

It was official. Shrek ass virginity was Shrek's.

**Author's Note:**

> i thought long and hard about which words would best describe Shrek's daddy dick but i gave up and went with "schlong dongadoodle" and used that throughout most of the fic sorry


End file.
